Such a weird first kiss
Dating help for men often misses a vital key, meaning all the valuable info becomes utterly useless.
This goes back to the cryptic post I shared earlier...
"Just be yourself" <- HORRIBLE dating advice
vs.
"Don't not be yourself" <- GREAT dating advice
I think some people thought it was a joke, but it's not.
"Just be yourself" is true, but not useful at all to hear.
But "Don't not be yourself" is valuable, because it's actionable.
It gives you an easy litmus test you can use to apply all other advice you get.
To explain this all, I want to rewind to the first time I kissed a girl.
I was 21.
It was at Palm Beach State College in South Florida.
I was in a Gay-Straight Alliance meeting.
In the room was a guy I hooked up with once, and a guy I used to have a crush on, and a cute girl I hadn’t ever met, and me.
And I was knitting a hat.
This gorgeous girl with the smoothest skin looked at what I was doing, her mouth agape.
"Wow... are you knitting?!”
“Yup, I’ve knit since I was 10.”
“Can you teach me sometime?"
"Sure." I said, and before I left she insisted on giving me her number.
I got the impression she was flirting with me but I wasn’t quite sure.
Nevertheless a week later or so I invited her out to froyo at 8pm or so.
We flirted, ate frozen yogurt, and as the place closed I invited her to the beach to continue our flirting.
We sat there just her and I, ocean sounds in the background, looking up at the stars as I pointed out constellations. It was perfect… right out of a movie.
Butterflies fluttered in my chest. I wanted her lips on mine so bad.
But I was so nervous.
I didn’t know what to say, so I just blurted out what was going through my mind
"I want to kiss you right now, but I'm really nervous, so I'm going to close my eyes and you come kiss me instead."
I shut my eyes and waited, hoping.
A slight chuckle escaped her lips, and my heart sank.
But a moment later I felt her sweet, pillowy lips press against mine.
She had some of the sweetest, softest lips I've ever felt, even to this day.
And my first kiss with a girl was cinematic af, a memory I’m so grateful for.
Was the interaction "messy"? Sure. But it was oh so perfect.
Now, would any dating guru tell me to do what I did?
Pick up girls by bringing my grandma knitting project to a gay-straight-alliance meeting?
Then instead of taking the lead, admit my fear and ask her to kiss me instead?
No, probably not.
I'm not saying dating advice is useless, I think a ton of it is super helpful!
What I am saying, is when I "don't not be myself" - meaning I filter my actions through the question “is this aligned?” I tap into a natural seductiveness that would only work for me, and only in that moment and only with that girl.
Other people giving us possible "lines" or "tactics" IS helpful, it gives us men a broader deck of fun, silly, sexy, steamy ways to create a spark with a girl.
And that is highly valuable.
BUT if you come to the table being "not yourself" then no tactic will help you.
Any card you play must align with what feels good to you, or you've lost your center and women are especially attuned to men who are pretending.
(There is a BIG exception of trying new things with women that don’t “feel like yourself” yet to expand your comfort zone, but that’s a different topic for a different day.)
This is why I've developed my dating packages to be both outside-in (Paparazzi Factor photoshoots) and inside-out (Abundance Reset coaching + accountability) while keeping you centered in what feels natural to you.
When you recalibrate how you come across (through my fashion and posing guidance, and a world-class photoshoot) and clean up your inner game (rock solid groundedness, confidence, unshakability) you walk through the world of women feeling like the king you are.
One spot was nabbed up earlier today, so just 2 left for October - grab your dating life upgrade in time for cozy cuddles this holiday season
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No AI was used in writing or editing this post
The "photo" of me and the mystery girl, however is a different story. Just don't look too closely at the hand she's holding...